AntiMovies

IMDb: X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Though I’ve bagged on Brian Singer before, he did create a very watchable and grown-up version of a super hero movie with X-Men—and a great sequel too. Maybe they were a tad bit soap opera-ish, but the relationship between Wolverine and Rogue in the first film was an interesting one. The same with Professor X and Magneto. There was great character development for what could have been a set of brainless action films.

Sadly this third installment, helmed by none other than Brett Ratner, shits all over the great characters, introduces seemingly hundreds more and, just for good measure, spins a multitude of plotlines—all at the same time. It truly is astounding how accomplished this film is at being shitty. I think it takes a lot of hard work and the consensus of many people to make something suck so bad.

As much as I’d like to blame it all on Brett, I have to say that this chunk of crap was doomed from day one due to a senseless script. I watched the damn thing and honestly I can’t tell you what the hell it was about. What I do remember is they killed off two of the main characters in the absolute lamest of superhero deaths. They teased us with sentinels, which was probably the most exciting part of the movie, until I found out they were fake. And when I heard the line, “I’m the Juggernaut bitch!!!” it made me want to punch myself in the face.

And to think I was excited about Brian Singer leaving X-Men to make Superman Returns. All we got out of that was two turds.