Return of the Jedi (Special Edition)
IMDb: Return of the Jedi (1983)
Feeling he hadn’t screwed these movies up enough, George Lucas decided to take a machete to Return of the Jedi back in 1997. The band in Jabba’s palace was enhanced digitally (R.I.P. puppet Sy Snootles) and they are made to play a new song. Jedi Rocks I believe it is called… Are you shitting me?! Why? Why did he feel compelled? The old song was cool. It’s what a bunch of scummy-looking puppets should be playing. Not to mention, the original song sounded alien and different. The new one sounds like some retarded top 40 trash.
Not to be out done by the first attempt, the second Death Star’s explosion is even ‘ringier.’ Well, goddamn. Ever since the early 90’s with Star Trek VI, I don’t think I would accept it as an explosion unless it was accompanied by some nonsensical shockwave ring.
The end becomes an abomination worse than the original release. I always thought the Ewoks were a cutesie cop-out and their musical number at the end of the movie made me shutter. However, a way was found to make all of this more ridiculous. At least the original song made sense and however stupid it was, it was well produced. The replacement sounds like they picked a track from some “World Music” sampler CD in the dollar bin at Sam Goody.
And after all is said and done, I can easily imagine a day when all the original Star Wars films are remade to the point when they are no longer recognizable. There will be nothing left but the hyper-chromatic orgy of cartoon-like animated pixels dancing across the screen—but this time in 3D!
- bman