AntiMovies

IMDb: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

Yep, that’s right. This is an AntiMovie.

But Indiana Jones is an icon, a god of cinema. How dare I? Easily.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are parts of this movie I love and will never forget. There are parts that truly belong in an Indiana Jones movie. But overall, they can’t save this movie. The Indy character was changed and new annoying characters were introduced. The opening of the movie says it all.

We see Kate Capshaw as Willie dancing around in a number fitting of a classic 30’s musical, then we see Indiana Jones use her as a bargaining chip to save his own life. That sours the whole thing right there. Indiana Jones is a scoundrel, but he’s not going to hide behind an innocent woman—no matter how annoying she is. Next we are introduced to an agrivating kid sidekick, Short Round. Sure this concept could have worked, but annoying kid sidekicks never really work, do they? Of course all three of these bastardized characters end up in a starving Indian villiage and must save the missing children. Remind me what this has to do with Indiana Jones again? This isn’t Indiana Jones and the Red Cross. We want action and amazement, not some bullshit social commentary and guilt trip.

The makers wanted to tell a darker Indiana Jones tale without Nazis, so they used recycled sequences cut from Raiders of the Lost Ark, took his gun away and clipped his balls. (At one point he is torturing and about to kill Willie and he is beating Short Round. That’s no hero.) Not to mention the film was set in 1935—before Raiders.

It looks like George Lucas has been making shitty prequels since the 80’s.